2012 -- Yeah, Right!

Well, it's time again for the insanophiles to pelt us with the latest end-of-the-cosmos scenario. This time it's 2012. The planets are lining up! There's going to be a giant war in the middle east! Niburu (Planet X) is coming!!

Well, even as the Age of Aquarius dawns, let me tell you why nothing is going to happen. Remember Y2k? Remember how the world fell apart because the computers all broke and then the earth fell into the sun? No? Exactly.

In case you don't remember, all the planets lined up in 1992. Wow, that was a diSASter, wasn't it? (or was that 1982?) People predicted earthquakes everywhere, sunamis, the death of California.

In the seventies people were writing about the unusually large number of carrion birds being born in Israel. Must be a huge battle coming the in the next ten years, right?

And if Planet X exists (pretty unlikely to start with), and if its orbit is 3600 years, and if it was last here at the time of Jacob -- let's see, that means it's still got 500 years before it's due again!

So, sorry if your latest doomsday scenario doesn't get me excited. It's just that nothing is going to happen.

Five Different Nachos!

Just created a wacky "mashup" video that cracks me up every time I watch it. If you know of Parry Gripp or Unforgotten Realms, this will have extra meaning:

Are Casual Games for Real

Working on a new video about casual gaming, but it's taking some time to get it right. More later.

Evolution, Creationism and Intelligent Design

Didn't think I could sit on the fence on this one, did you? Check it out:

New video half-done

I've recorded the audio and found half the graphics for my latest video, another in my Philosophy & Religion series. Hope to have it done within the week.

4 levels of pain

I think there are four levels of pain.

From least to greatest they are: annoying, distracting, clarifying and incapacitating.

Annoying pains we ignore, the distracting we treat. A sinus headache is annoying -- a tension headache is distracting. A migraine is incapacitating.

It's the clarifying that most people don't notice. Something that really, really hurts intensely, but you can brave through it (sometimes), those are clarifying moments. Maybe that's why people get tattoos?

Anyway, I've noticed lately that when I have a pain that's sometimes annoying, sometimes distracting -- I actually get more done because it helps me ignore the pain without treating it. Of course, it has to be physical labor -- I can't do this when I'm distracted.

Am I crazy or what?

In finally know why Jesus cursed the fig tree!

We have a couple of acres of land, and we first moved here five years ago, I thought I saw rhubarb growing. Cool. I can harvest it and maybe make a pie or something.

Well, it's not rhubarb. It's a very annoying plant called Burdock that LOOKS like rhubarb. It's not edible, and it creates hundreds of little burrs that get all over everything, especially dog fur. And it spreads like a weed, too.

So, if I thought I could get rid of it by cursing I certainly would. It deserved to be cursed because it's a counterfeit.

So I think that fig tree must've been the same thing -- a counterfeit. I should have had figs and didn't. Keep that in mind next time you are tempted to act like something you aren't.

There's debate - and then there's insanity!

I've been pretty much silent on this whole "universal health care" thing. As expected, I'm on the fence (or didn't you notice the name of this blog?), trying to weigh the good with the bad. And then I saw the ugly.

Currently in the Detroit market a universal-health-care-right-now-we-don't-care-what-it-costs advocacy group is running an ad of a middle-aged black woman in a medical clinic white cloak rapping about how we have to have this RIGHT NOW! Does she know how ridiculous she looks?

But I think what really got me to write about this is the line "it's our RIGHT - take it out of our TAXES!"

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT??????????

Okay, it's not like I get mad often, but c'mon! What kind of insanity is this?

First of all, if you are one of the "working poor" who doesn't qualify for medicaid, and can't get insurance through your work, and can't afford to buy it yourself, YOU DON'T PAY TAXES!! You have little withheld to start with, and you get it all back in April. You might be in the 10% bracket -- maybe.

Secondly, since when is health care a right? I suppose you think you have a right to a new Escalade as well? And "government" should pay the insurance? Who, exactly, do you think government is? Guess what -- it's you. That's right -- this is a government "of the people", so if you get something from the government, it will cost you something. You didn't think that cheese was really free, did you?

And last, why do you think the government will run health care better, or cheaper, than anyone else? You think HMOs will try to cut coverage -- just wait until you can't get an MRI this year because everyone has to be vaccinated for Hepatitis G. [I'm sure the cancer can wait another year before detection.]

If I sound cynical, well, too bad. I wasn't going to take sides on this one, you know, so I wouldn't have to get down off the fence. But dangit, this is ridiculous. Part of me will always be socialist, but this time I just can't see it.

So good work, stupid commercial-for-a-website-for-a-cause. You managed to push me all the way to the other side!

What the heck was that?

So, I stay up late to watch Conan's first night, and I gotta say -- Conan is funny but Will Ferrell is tired. Does he have any original ideas any more? I won't be going to see Land of the Lost.

And Pearl Jam was majorly disappointing. Okay, maybe I shouldn't have expected Jeremy, but whatever that was, it was not the Pearl Jam I remember. Couldn't he get Adam Lambert or something?

Anyway, now I'm overtired so it's time to stop talking.

Later.

It's so much easier just to double up

Stupid Things Bother Me

Not regular stupid things, like bad traffic lights, but the STUPIDEST things bother me.

For example, I can buy lemon Coke, or Coke with lime, but can I get orange coke? How about grapefruit?

People who use the wrong homonym bother me, even though I do it myself (especially with their/they're and to/two/too.) Freudian, yes. Stupid? Yes.

In fact, I just reread an email I sent where I wrote "how" and meant "once". How did I do that?

When the double-ply toilet paper tearoff edges don't match, I FIX THEM. Does anyone else do that?

Irregardless irritates me regardless of the fact that some people think its a word.

And apostrophes are not to be used for pluralization. It was the 70s people! Not the 70's!!

And it's not just language. I drive by an entrance ramp that "never happened". There's where the lane should come in, but it doesn't.

The word "degrees" is redundant, but that one doesn't bother me.

The dishwasher is for washing the dishes. Why would I wash them before I wash them? That's like cleaning the house for the maid service.

I can't remember if three-of-a-kind beats a flush. I will need to know this tomorrow!

Gas is not worth $4/gallon. If you raise the price again you will kill the recovery -- you idiots!

In Russia does Death carry a sickle? Does he have osteoporosis?

If evolution works then why is there roadkill?

Bret Favre would be the worst thing to happen to the Vikings since Jeff George.

Everyone remembers Rubik's [possession is a valid use for apostrophe for nouns, but not pronouns] Cube, but no one remembers Rubik's Revenge.

Capital letters are for titles, sentence beginnings and proper nouns. Not for every word you think is important.

It's pronounced "im-port-ant" not "im-pord-an".

No, Amazon, I did not write any college textbooks (altough you can send me the proceeds if you like. ;P )

The counterpart of testosterone is progesterone, not estrogen. [The estrogen counterpart is called androgen.]

Polygamy is not strictly polygyny, but also can mean polyandry.

Are platypii and spiny anteaters really mammals?

Deano's Turning in His Grave

So I'm watching Kris Allen do his thing to a song I sort of remember, and I say "he's just like a young Sinatra." Maybe somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew the song was a Sinatra song, but not consciously.

Anyway, he was good -- and so was everyone else. I think only Adam didn't really do the period justice, but c'mon, he's Adam. So it was more Orzabal than Davis, but what did you expect? Allison was masterful, Danny was a huge crowd pleaser, and Matt was FINALLY in his element.

So, who's going home? Probably Matt. It's too bad, but I think people will see him as Harry Connick, Jr. -- Junior. Crosby-Lite. He's got a career, but he's not stadium material like Daughtry.

It's like a friend's response the other day when I asked if the RedWings managed to sweep their series by winning the last game. "Barely", was the response, "it was 6-5!" Amazingly, it didn't matter that they won in four straight games, it only mattered that they didn't dominate this time. Same problem for Matt, he didn't dominate this time.

I could be wrong, it could be Allison. Adam and Danny are bound for the finals, although not quite as obviously as David & David last year. (BTW, I think they should have made those two sing Welcome to the Boomtown.) That leaves Kris. He did go first last night, but he was gooooood.

So my best guess is Allison, Matt and Danny in the bottom three, but Danny is safe.

I hope next week is New Wave week. As if Adam needed any more help!

Sheer Panic!

Okay, I must just have a very large panic gland or something. Far too often, my reaction to something is to panic first, then relax when I figure out the world isn't ending.

Like this morning. My wallet was not in my pocket. My wallet is ALWAYS in my pocket. Where could it be? Did I lose it? How will I drive to work without my wallet??

Duh. It fell on the floor. 60 seconds of searching and I was fine. Is this bad for my heart? Or is it like exercise?

Last week when both cars were stuck in the snow, did I calmly assess the situation and weigh options? Nope.

And just now. I arrive in the parking lot. I turn off the car. I pull out the keys. I push the "door lock" button. Then -- pay attention -- I imagined what would happen if I dropped my keys out onto the ground and the door closed. And started to panic.

First of all, it didn't actually happen. More importantly, if it had -- so what? I'm still INSIDE the car. I can open the door and retrieve the keys from the ground. Even if I had been OUTSIDE the car, I could still retrieve the keys. DUHHHHH.

If I had actually dropped the keys and then closed the door, it would have taken me at least 3 seconds to realize that I didn't need to panic. Is there a name of this disorder?

It's Idol Time Again

Well, it's getting down to the interesting part, but without Megan it's just not as fun anymore.

Here are my predictions:

1. Anoop will have an off night.
2. Adam will do something weird, but good.
3. Danny will make everyone love him.
4. Allison will be scary good.
5. Kris will be okay, but he's pretty so he'll stay.
6. Lil still won't be able to do anything original.
7. Matt will be really good, but will be in the bottom three anyway.
8. Ryan will divide the singers into two groups of three, then make Adam pick which group is which.
9. Kara will says something incorrectly.

Who will go home? I hope it's Anoop or Lil, but it probably won't be.

American Idol April Fool

Just had to comment on watching last night's Idol on-line. I didn't get to see any of the judges' comments, so I guess that gives me a more unbiased take.

Allison did a good job of performing Don't Speak by No Doubt. I read that the judges couldn't get past her outfit, but I liked it.

Adam played the crowd well with Play That Funky Music by Wild Cherry, but he's getting a little bit too much like Donny Osmond. He should go back to the emo hair I think.

Danny did a great job with What Hurst the Most by Rascal Flatts. It's not a song I know, but I think it was a great fit; he even looks kinda like that lead singer.

Matt Giraud did the Fray's You found Me. I thought his voice was a little TOO rough on this one. I hate the Fray anyway, they are just whiners.

Lil Rounds sang Celine Dion's I surrender. The only word I can think of for this is "annoying". Celene is painful to sit through anyway, and there was nothing special in this performance.

Anoop Desai was Caught Up (by Usher). He seemed energetic, but I couldn't stand it. Don't know the song so I couldn't tell if he was flat or it's supposed to sound like that.

Megan Joy did Bob Marley's Turn Your Lights Down Low. I LOVED it. She didn't swing her hips, but she still had to sway. It was smooth and intriguing. I hear the judges hated it; stupid judges.

Scott MacIntyre took on the iconic Billy Joel song Just the Way You Are. Not bad, but his voice grates on me a little. It was way better than last week.

Kris Allen crooned Ain't No Sunshine by Bill Withers. A tough assignment, but I though it was very nice. I finally felt connected to him.

So, who should be in the bottom three? Matt, Lil and Anoop. Who WILL be in the bottom three? I'm guessing Megan, Matt and Scott. And, unfortunately, I think Megan might be headed home -- a definite injustice. Judges -- Megan should be saved!

Replubic?

Recent events got me thinking about our government.

Ahhh, Idol

I was starting to buy into the idea that this year once again had the "best talent ever" -- as Randy says every year. But then came last night -- ugh.

No one this year can "sing the phone book" (sorry, Smokey, but Lil isn't that good). Both Davids from last year were better. I think even Syesha could outsing most of these guys. Which is sad, because I think this group is more likable.

We'll see who goes home tonight -- I predict Michael Sarver. I really hope it's not Megan -- she is much more interesting to watch; I really doubt the judges would save either one. The third of the bottom three will be Anoop, but he won't go home. [It really should be the blind guy, but he's still getting the sympathy vote. That will only last another week or two unless he gets wayyyy better. The fact that I'm blanking on his name should be a good indication of how memorable he is.]

My prediction for this year's final 3 is Adam, Allison and (surprise!) Matt Giraud. That's right, I'm picking Danny to go out fourth. But if Castro and Daughtry are any gauge, that's not so bad for your career going forward.

Lil and Kris had performances that weren't stand-out, but have followings and will be back.

Besides Adam, the only person on the show who I'm convinced will make it in the future is Allison. She was the only one "owning" the songs last night instead of them owning her. Maybe they should go back to the "ancient" coaches like Neil Diamond -- the advice seemed to be better.

Adam, by the way, is making everyone else look like Amateurs. Okay, so he has stage experience, but last night he was a young Chris Isaak. Last week he was David Bowie (kinda). He has that kind of potential. He is the favorite until someone does something that actually IS amazing.

You know how much

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